ugh... men drive me crazy! casual is all well and good, but sometimes it's so damn frustrating...

Currently Playing X&Y By Coldplay see related

Wow, it's been forever since I updated... but I guess sometimes you can't go public with your thoughts until you get them in more reasonable order. I've been really starting to enjoy having this apartment (mostly) to myself these past few weeks. I think that often we find our true strength- and strength of character- in our solitary moments. We recognize the poor choices we've made and the wrong paths we've wandered down, and sometimes we even find the hope that has been so sorely missing from our lives. I often say that I don't believe in mistakes, but I do believe that some choices are ones that we make only because deep down inside we need to learn a lesson. Of course, sometimes the choices we make lead to the best of results. I met someone recently that gave me an entirely new perspective on Catholicism and my choices involving it- they made me realize that I could look at the the church and the way the church is run separately and that I could still find solace in the beauty of what the church was meant to be. This is not to say that I've suddenly 'come around' to going back to church or made any decisions, but I'm incredibly grateful that I met someone who could change my perspective in that way. It feels good to have a person in my life with such potential to be a positive force.

Speaking of positive forces, I've been having a lot of fun spending time with my friends from work and old friends from college who have an uncanny ability to make me smile in spite of myself. I love how the newest people and the oldest people in my life can bring me equal joy. Though there are some old friends that I'm becoming deeply worried about, and at the same time find myself pulling away from...

On a lighter note, I went Up North (capitalization intentional) this weekend for my cousin's wedding. So bizarre to see someone 3 years younger than me getting married. Couldn't shake the feeling that I was watching someone make a terrible mistake. Is it really sensible to marry the first person you've ever seriously dated? More than that, getting engaged after only dating them for 3 months? I hope that things work out well, but my goodness it makes me nervous. It was, however, good to see family, in particular watching my dad party down with his brothers and sisters. Makes me wish I had some! Favorite moments from the wedding: 1) Doing shots with my dad, his 2 brothers, and their friends from the old neighborhood, while my dad told them that he 'raised me right'...lol. 2) My 5'6" uncle arm wrestling his 6'2" new son in law and KICKING HIS ASS. 3) Watching my dad do the boogie-woogie with his sisters on the dance floor after most everyone else had left. 4) Dancing a mean turn with my dad and having a great time of it. 5) Debating which totally inappropriate songs to sing for karoake-yes they had karaoke at a wedding, hey it's the U.P.- with my cousin Stan. The front runner was definitely Chocolate Salty Balls from South Park. LOL...good times.

Anyway, I've got a few things I'm doing and people I'm seeing to look forward to in the coming week... cautious optimism and the brightest smile I can muster!